4th Annual KING Awards

The Brittle Blazer Award - Greg Oden
The No. 1 overall pick in the 2007 NBA draft joked that his season-ending knee injury was caused by Konami's Dance Dance Revolution. Not funny. Microfracture surgery can go smoothly (Amare Stoudamire) or not so much (Chris Webber, Allan Houston), but Oden is only 19 years old (he just looks 35) and should fully recover. Unfortunately, we can't say the same about our fantasy basketball squad.
Past winners:  Bill Walton, Sam Bowie

The Corporate Pimp Award - Steve Jobs
An iPhone fresh out of the box the first week: $600. An iPhone fresh out of the box only two months later: $399. Watching the nostrils flare on thousands of gullible consumers who paid $200 to get out of their Verizon and Nextel contracts early: priceless. Good job, Stevie.
Past Winners:  Donald Trump, Lyor Cohen

The Studio Rat SlimFast Award - Dr. Dre
The 2007 MTV Video Music Awards had one shocking, unforgettable moment. Not Britney's lip-synching debacle. Or Kanye's tantrum. Any dime-store psychic could've seen those coming. No, it was when Dr. Dre (and his upper pecs) took the stage flaunting his new physique. We're definitely pro gym, but one request for 2008, Doc: Less incline dumbbell presses, more Detox.
Past Winner: Timbaland

The Restroom Rover Award - Senator Larry Craig
Layovers suck. We know. Especially when you're not a member of a flight-club lounge. But boredom is no excuse for trolling through those dirty restrooms on the lookout for some loving. Hey, at least some good came out of this. A hypocrite (Craig has opposed gay rights) was exposed, and now we know not to take wide stances in the stall.
Past Winner: George Michael

For more of KING's 2007 Brolic Year In Review, pick up the Dec '07/Jan '08 issue, on newsstands now!