We haven't seen a slingshot do so much damage since Goliath caught one between his eyes. What made you rock those pieces of string for the contest?
Because it's a model search and car show, where there are lots of men. They come to see women and flesh. Why would I show up in a turtleneck and sweatpants?

Absolutely. Nothing worse than being overdressed in a room full of car geeks. That would kill their drive.
The slingshot was appropriate because it covers what needed to be covered but it shows off what everybody wanted to see. But I know a few ladies weren't happy with my outfit—they felt they could've rocked it better than me.

Guess they won't be in your makeup chair any time soon.
Speaking of which, let me make it clear that being a makeup artist is my career and first love. A lot of makeup artists wouldn't go the modeling route, but hopefully I'll open up doors for career women with great bodies who want to show it off. You know, KING should do an issue about that. What do you think?

I think you're trying to play the role of Editor-In-Chief.
[Laughs] I accept the job. You don't think guys are ready for smart career women with fat asses?

If they're not packing a Hummer-sized trunk in them True Religions, hell to the naw.
But having a fat ass doesn't equal beauty. It takes personality, a great attitude and a well-toned body. That's why I'm a big fan of Ki-Toy Johnson—who has the overall package. God, I would like to get that as a gift.

You do know we like to set people up on dates, right? Have you been a good girl?
Stop messing with me—I'm very heterosexual. I just admire beautiful women. But I see what you're trying to do . . . . I'll tell you anything you want to know.

That was easy. So have you ever had sex with another woman?
No. But, one woman tongued me down while I was doing her makeup. She's a very popular model.

Has she been in KING?
[Laughs] Yeah. I'm not naming any names, though.

Great, because you know snitches get stitches. So what did you do?
I just stood there and accepted it. After I got my composure, I finished her makeup and she shot her pictures. That was that. Sorry for the dry ending.

Dicktease!
No I'm not. I'm very much a pleaser. It turns me on to give pleasure to my partner…a lot!

Really? And what methods do you conduct in order to please.
You're ruthless.

Hey, the gloves come off when you say, I'll tell you anything.
For that special one, it's whatever he wants and needs—as long as he's satisfied. You want details?

Like Ashanti wants a hit single.
Shit, let the guys figure that one out [laughs].

Dicktease!
Why is being teased so bad?

'Cause blue balls is a bitch.
If your game is tight, you won't have that problem. I don't know any man that wants anything that's easy. You always enjoy the hunt and the pursuit of it.

True, if the right opportunity comes along…
You're talking all that mess. How's this for opportunity? You had a lot of opportunities to smack my ass at the shoot.

I'm sorry, what?
The makeup artist smacked my ass, the hairdresser smacked my ass, and the photographer smacked my ass. Everybody smacked my ass on that set. They asked first, of course. You didn't.

Uh…
Exactly, closed mouths don't get fed. You catch more bees with honey than with vinegar—just ask and be polite. You never know what you can get.

Okay then, since you're so open, let's, uh, get in touch with our feelings.
Now you're being greedy. Feeling up on all these body parts means we'll be officially dating.

Dicktease!--Sean A. Malcolm