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Stressed out asks: Dear Janine, Its been 4 years I’m stressed out, but every night my girl try to make love to me but I can’ get up, she thinks I’m cheating on her when I tell her nah baby I’m just stressed, what should I do?

Janine says: This is tricky, because one half of your issue is dealing with your girls trust issues which you can’t fully resolve on your own. In regards to her thinking your cheating, you need to do whatever you can to assure her you are being faithful. If she trusted you, your inability get up wouldn’t cause her to automatically assume the only reason is infidelity. Therefore you need to address the trust issues in your relationship first. Whether that’s worked on by calling her more often when you aren’t home, allowing her to accompany you to places, etc. Whatever it is you do to make her think you are cheating, try to eliminate or minimize. If you have large amounts of time where she feels that you are using to partake in the wrong things, spend those hours with her or at least call her. Whatever it may be, do what you can to regain your trust. Once she can trust you, she won’t feel you are cheating on her and not engaging in sex alone will not be enough to cause those doubts.

Now in regards to your sexual issue, you may want to see a doctor. You can try stress relieving methods but if that doesn’t work you should let your doctor check you out. It may not be stress related, and even if so there are still medical remedies to this. The reality is that even if your relationship lasts through the lengthy amount of time it may take to regain her trust without sex, this issue is likely to cause other problems in your relationship. Her sexual satisfaction will eventually become an issue, your male ego may start to feel bruised and cause you seek masculinity in other ways. I suggest you see a doctor to find out ways and strategies to get it up, or if you need medication.

If the libido aspect is resolved prior to the trust issue being resolved I still recommend you complete the goal of regaining her trust anyway. It will be the best situation for the two of you in the long run.
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