For What It’s Worth

Put aside the stupidity of O.J.'s act and ask yourself this: If you knew the people who took your personal belongings and were trying to make a profit off of them, would you pull a Robin Hood or go to the boys in blue? KING-MAG.com takes a look at some of the items O.J. tried to get back, and assesses the value of each of them. We also take a guess as to who would want to buy any of it.

HOME VIDEO OF O.J.'S FIRST WEDDING
Market Value: Approximately six-figures.
Street Value: Five dollars, but for seven dollars, they'll throw in his appearances in the Naked Gun series.
O.J. Value: Priceless. That was one of the few tapes he had from his glory days.

Possible Buyers
TMZ.com: They'll run a video of anything.
Angry Black Women: Just to prove that before he went white, he was all right.

PHOTO WITH FORMER HEAD OF FBI, J. EDGAR HOOVER
Market Value: $1,000
Street Value: $2.50 without the frame/$10 with the frame.
O.J. Value: About five years off his sentence, O.J. will leak valuable government information that only he and Hoover know about in exchange for lesser time if he is convicted.

Possible Buyers
Osama Bin Laden: Just to try and prove how stupid America is in one of his videos.
Stephen Colbert: There's a joke in there somewhere and Colbert can find it.

FOOTBALL HALL OF FAME PLAQUE
Market Value: $3,000-$5,000
Street Value: $100 or free with any other O.J. Simpson purchase.
O.J. Value: Depends on the lawyer fees, but we're guessing, he'll mark it up another $1,000 or so.

Possible Buyers
NFL Commissioner Roger Goddell – You know he'd like to buy it back just so he could burn it.

THE SUIT, SHIRT, AND TIE O.J. WORE THE DAY OF HIS ACQUITTAL
Market Value: $25,000-$100,000
Street Value: $50 if any of these items have the initials OJ embroidered into them. Without the initial embroidery, hustle man's knocking off at least $15.
O.J. Value: Priceless. That's his lucky suit, shirt, and tie. You can't put a price tag on those.
Possible Buyers
Marc Ecko – He bought the Barry Bonds ball, so please believe he'll buy O.J. Simpson's gear, just so he could start a new line of O.J. suits.
Athletes On Trial – Since they can't get Cochrane, what better way to hear the words "not guilty” than wearing O.J.'s lucky suit.

JOE MONTANA HALL OF FAME LITHOGRAPH
Market Value: $1,000
Street Value: $100, but it depends on the ‘hood. Out in the Bay Area, where Montana is a god, expect to see at least $200.
O.J. Value: $2,000, or a trade to erase any outstanding warrants.

Possible Buyers
Joe Montana: Just like O.J., the man wants his shit back.
Jerry Rice: That's Joe Montana's BFF.

BASEBALL SIGNED BY PETE ROSE
Market Value: $300
Street Value: $50, but you know like all deals on the block, this is negotiable.
O.J. Value: $500, because O.J. will sign it too, and if you're a fan of former athletes behaving badly, this is a steal.

Possible Buyers
Pete Rose: He's a gambling man, so he'll take his chances.
Major League Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig: Like Goddell, Selig would like to burn anything commemorating a player who has disgraced the game.