Gilbert for President!
Today, I would like to...
Â GOD DAMN! LOOKATTHEM TITTIES!!!
Â Sorry, I looked at Vanna Black on the main page and got a little distracted. That woman is busting out every which-a-way. I'm a breast(and ass) man, so Vanna...if you're reading this, get at me ;)
Now, back to what I initially intended to write. Oh yeah...I would like to officially announce who I am endorsing in the 2008 Presidential election. That person: Gilbert Arenas.
Yeah, I said it. Gilbert Arenas. I don't even know what his politicalÂ affiliation is. He doesn't NEEDÂ any as far as I'm concerned. His contributions to professional basketball in Washington DC have earned my undying respect and gratitude.
Â You have to understand, I've been watching the Washington Wizards since they were the Washington Bullets. Back when most of the fans came to the gamesÂ to seeÂ Michael Jordan, Charles Barkley, Karl Malone and other assorted stars from that era come to DC to bust some Bullet ass. Let me put it in perspective:
Karl "The Mailman" Malone > "Never Nervous" Pervis Ellison
Charles Barkley >Â Ledell Eackles
ShaquilleÂ O'Neal > Gheorge MuresanÂ
Michael Jordan > John "Hot Plate" Williams. I mean come on now! TheÂ manÂ ATEÂ HIMSELF OUT THE LEAGUE!!!Â For Christ's sake, how was he supposed to match up with the greatest of all time?!
Â Now you can see why I have nothing but respect for Gilbert Arenas and the excitement that he's brought to area basketball. Not to take anything away from his teammates, since he's playing for a talented squad, plusÂ working with a coach that knows the game. Still, Gilbert's gameÂ has been on another level this season.
If he keeps this up, and the Wizards keep playing the way that they have been, the man should be considered a leading contender forÂ league MVP. That's a big reason why I'm using my presidential vote(which probably would have gone to Obama) on an NBA player instead of on an actualÂ politician. Plus, his NBA.com blog is entertaining. He's hilarious, and it's interesting to see his perspective on this great season that he's having.Â Gilbert's blogÂ is notÂ on MY level, but I'm saying, the man can't be the best at EVERYTHING. He can bust my ass on the basketball court, and I'm the greatest writer that ever lived not named Shakespeare or Hemingway.
As for the rest of you peasants out there, life ain't fair. Deal with it. Maybe one day you'll approach this level of greatness...but probably not. Your mommas will still love you, even if you're not asÂ spectacular as me. Or Gilbert, for that matter.
Â So yeah, 2007, NBA MVP. 2008, the first black President! You can do it, Gilbert!
That said, if Gilbert chooses to continue playing basketball, I'm not going to take his place on the ballot. My presence would split the Democratic vote. I mean some people will vote for Hillary Clinton(women). Others will vote for Barak Obama(most Democrats). I'll end up getting my votes(people who actuallyÂ support my campaign platform of health care benefits for strippers and taxing ugly people more than normal folks). Overall, the ballot will be split, and we'll end up with another Republican in office.
Gilbert Arenas, if you're reading this, give theÂ presidential run some thought, and have fun in Vegas during All-Star Weekend.