KING   You girls look like you know what you're doing with that pigskin. Do you know the different positions on the field?
Joyce   I know some of the defensive positions, a receiver…
Deborah   That's offense.
J
Oh, a defensive tackle, linebacker and kicker.

Either of you have a, um, favorite position?
J
We don't play football at all.

Yeah, but you could learn. Tight end, maybe?
D
What does the tight end do?

He catches the ball and sometimes blocks.
D
Oh, I wouldn't want to do that. That's too much pressure. No, I'd be the kicker.
J I'd be the receiver. I can catch the ball, and I'm quick.

Would you two prefer to play tackle, two-hand touch or flag football?

J
Flag. We don't want to get hurt.

What about in the bedroom?
J
Two-hand touch.

Wait, when can I tackle you?
D
In water, when you're weightless.

Do you ladies watch football on TV? Aren't you glad Joe Theismann is off Monday Night Football?
J
If it's on, and other people are watching it, I won't be rude and I'll follow it, but it's definitely not something I can't miss.

Fair enough. What if your man's team has lost the game?
How would you help him numb the pain?
J We would give him shots of tequila, a back rub and a grilled cheese. Tequila?

Isn't alcohol a depressant?
D No, tequila makes everything better.
J
We would give it to him to make him happy.

—Jozen Cummings

For more from KING Magazine's 2007 NFL preview, pick up the October 2007 issue, on newsstands now!