People are used to seeing you from the waist up on VH1's Best Week Ever. What was it like exposing the rest of your body?
It felt like having sex with all the lights on . . . in Yankee stadium . . . on fan-appreciation night.

Seventh-inning stretches would surely take on a new meaning. Now, you make a living with your mouth...
Where is this one going? [Laughs].

No flagrant fouls here, I was just transitioning into this question: has a man ever left you speechless?
A long time ago, when I was just getting started as a writer, I was in a famous, fancy recording studio with a famous fancy hip-hop mogul and his R&B group. Everything seemed very professional, but on my way to the ladies room, he ambushed me in this deserted hallway. He suddenly started talking about how much I was turning him on. I was like, "With what? Is my notepad making you horny? Is it my neat penmanship?”

Nuts. Literally. What else happened?
The dude actually pulls his joint out of his sweatpants to I guess "drive” the point home. I just had a hard time believing that I was oozing so much sex appeal that Mr. Superstar was catching wood next to the soda machine like that. All I could do was laugh nervously and back away from the Charleston Chew.

You're a Golden Era type of girl. What MC would have you doing the wop if they asked you out: Big Daddy Kane, Slick Rick or Snoop Dogg?
You suck as a matchmaker. You're asking me to choose between Madonna's old jump-off, a man who recorded the classic "Lick the Balls” and a man who thinks fun is letting his homies have some. I think I'll pass. But if you know the guy who owns their publishing....—Kawan Ari