Hypothetically, let’s say our president decided to invade your birth country of Bulgaria. What kind of export should our men expect?
[Bulgarian women] are known for their athletic bodies. They have breasts and butt. They’re mostly slender, but still curvy. You don’t really see big women over there.
Damn, might have to renew my passport. So what you’re packing is homegrown?
Yeah, I have the body from my mom.
God bless her. Do you have much competition here in the States?
Honestly, I think the women here don’t take much care of themselves. Regular women who are working and having a family, they think after they have kids life is over, and they shouldn’t look nice. It’s just different.
There’s definitely a MILF shortage. How do you keep things sexy?
I love lingerie. I love to dress sexy even if I’m by myself. It’s just nice when I lay down in the night and when I walk.
Skimpy underwear always works.
There’s some nice ones I love, but I’m only wearing them when I’m with my boyfriend, because when I sleep it’s always going off. There are flowers on the nipples. It’s like a little robe, and the thong is just a flower. That’s one of my favorites.
You’ve already told us about your panties. Any other secrets about Bulgarian women that you care to share with us?
They’re freaks. They’re just doing anything a man can imagine. Like how every person is eating every day, it’s normal to have sex there.
OK, where’s my damn passport?
When I was living in Bulgaria and Germany, it seemed like America is very sexual. It’s not really like that. I would say European women are more open. American women think that it’s bad if they say they like it.
Meaning you love it, huh?
I like it wild. I like it different. To do the same every time is boring. I like it when we do it in different places.
Sadly, outdoor sex is a free trip to the slammer here.
The police in Bulgaria would go and join you, not arrest you.
Sounds like paradise. —Jozen Cummings