Girls Will Be Boys
I'm a little behind on the gossip tip because lately, I've just been more into writing about the things I give a damn about rather than the things most other people give a damn about. But, there has been one bit of gossip that came and went, and I meant to speak on it as the news broke: Shaquille O'Neal's divorce.
To hear our boy Shaq tell it, the reason he's seeking a divorce from his wife Shaunie is because she was cheating on him with her personal trainer. To make matters worse, Shaunie was shoeboxing some of Shaq's money and saving it for the day when she was ready to break to be with her personal trainer. She was also buying him gifts and stuff.
A couple weeks after this news broke, the word on the grapevine was that Shaq's allegations were untrue. That the real reason for the divorce, for which Shaq filed, was largely due to his own insecurities and supposedy, there was no trainer. Another theory was Shaunie was taking a little bit too much money from Shaq's bank to make a clean break from him, who's been plagued with his own allegations of infidelity.
Who knows what the facts are surrounding this case, but let's just say, for the sake of argument, that Shaunie was indeed cheating on her very, very rich husband. What's the lesson us men, especially the ones who think money can protect them from everyday issues, can learn?
I'll tell you the lesson. Just because you have money or can buy your main chick the world doesn't mean you're above being on the wrong end of an unfaithful relationship. You'd think with movies like Closer, Unfaithful, and the popular television show, Desperate Housewives, more and more men would come back down to earth when it comes to the virtues of women. Clearly Shaq has, which is why he put the divorce ball in bounds and is now about to bounce (allegedly).
The popular myth surrounding women and cheating is they're better at creeping than men are, but I'm going to call bullshit on this theory. BULLSHIT! The truth is, the only reason women get away with cheating moreso than men is because men don't want to know their woman is doing anything wrong, let alone getting served from next man. Think about the lyrics to Stevie Wonder's, "Lately."
Just the other night while you were sleeping
I vaguely heard you whisper someone's name
But when I ask you of the thoughts you were keeping
You just say, nothing's changed
Well I'm a man of many wishes
I hope my premonition misses
You see, even a blind man can see the signs of an unfaithful woman, but, because of his own naivete, or in some cases, his own foul ways, he'd rather ask questions than demand his woman give him the square biz, which is a caveman mentality. Men are emotionally lazy. We don't want to feel any pain so we prefer to just creep under the assumption our woman is doing the same. If we're not creeping, we never ask questions to find out if she is. Instead of asking our woman about the guy she was talking about in her sleep, we just ask her what's been on her mind. Newsflash!: Your woman cheats, and if she hasn't, she's thought about it, and if she hasn't thought about it, then you're not dating an actual human being, let alone a female.
To wit: A few months back, I wrote about a study that showed more women were committing acts of infidelity, and vainly attempted to connect it to a modern-day movement of female independence. I was wrong. More than a couple of commenters pointed out the real reasons for the sudden surge in females cheating was not due to more women doing it, it's that more women were admitting to doing it. While this was a revealing proclamation, the better question to ask would have been for men: Do you believe your girlfriend/fianceÂ´/wife is cheating or has cheated on you? I'd be willing to bet money I don't even have that most men would say no.
A lot of men still think the rules are different. But, let's not forget the one rule that is never different: All rules are meant to be broken, and if the original rumors are true, Shaunie believed that more than the rule Shaq and most other men impose on their women. Let the alleged Shaq incident be a lesson to all you average-salary-making men out there. Even women who have a lot to lose are prone to slipping, and if you feel your main squeeze is one of those women, either confront her or hire a good attorney, like Shaq did. Hell, do both. But don't wait for a smoking gun to bounce or to ask her what's going on. The ball is in your court, so let gravity do it's thing, and go in.