The Lies Women Tell You
Why do I have a picture of Pretty Woman up? Follow me for a second.
For those who do not read KING-MAG.com's questionaire with models, I would like to give attention to two of their more interesting questions. They are as follows:
Have you ever had a one night stand? and Have you ever told a lie?
Surprisingly, most women have been honest enough to answer yes to both, but lest we forget, this is KING we're talking about and while a woman that poses for KING and it's website isn't necessarily any less of a woman she obviously isn't uncomfortable with her freaky side.
I can imagine though this line of questioning is intentional. What the interviewer wants to do is make an honest woman out of these girls. The interviewer is saying, "Look, we know how you get down so don't try to front and answer any differrent."
One lady, Eureka, actually caught wind of this little bit of trickery. Her answers to the question are as follows:
KING: Ever had a one-night stand?
Eureka: No
KING: Have you ever told a lie?
Eureka: Yes, but the question before was not one of them.
Ummm, okay, here's where H.P.L. really wants to scream on a woman.
I don't know Eureka from Eve so I'll take her for her word. But my problem is how many women often answer like Eureka, and unlike her, are boldfaced lying. If there's one truism I've learned about women and men five years deep into my 20's it is this:
"Your 20's are the time to have sex with all the wrong people." - Huey P. Langston
Women are smart. They're smart enough to not say, "I've never had a one night stand," and instead say, "Oh, I don't get down like that." Or, "I'm not that kind of girl."
These are the loopholes you gotta look out for because it's more important to hear what they're not saying, which is that they have had a one night stand back in the day and they're not above having another one.
Most women envy men because we can be forthright and honest about our instatiable appetites. I, for one, am outright honest with mines. I get it in and often. So do most of my homies. And EVERYONE THAT WE KNOW, KNOWS IT! But unfortunately, most women aren't secure enough to reveal what I like to call, the inner hoe (men, on the other hand, have an outer hoe).
"Treat 'em like you meet 'em" - Snoop Dogg
The thing is, men are smarter than these women who try to hide their alter-egos. For every time we bag a chick after one night, one date, or some other random circumstance, that is another girl who has gotten with us in the same form and fashion. The man knows it. The woman knows it, but unfortunately the next man won't know it or will he?
Fact: The worst kept secret in society is women lie more than men.
Women always wonder why we want to hit it on the first night, or why we don't want to wait. Well, we don't want to wait because we know another ninja didn't have to wait. We want the same deal the last man got. We heard they were selling that prime rib at wholesale so why is it that just cause we didn't come during rush hour we can't get the same discount?
I wish women would keep it consistent and not try to change the programming when someone "different" comes along. They stay talking about, "I'm not like that anymore." And I stay thinking, "What do you mean, no more?" Women treat that "phase" in their life like it's Saturday morning cartoons. She knows she loves them but she thinks she's too old and sophisticated to watch them anymore and it's bullshit because we know EVERYONE loves cartoons. So what is the problem? I'll tell you what the problem is fellas: YOU.
Unfortunately, my man, you don't know this girl's password so she ain't letting you in. So what do you do? Get yourself a girl who wants to give it up to you the first night; bypass the girl whose acting like she's new to this. If you really like her, then pass on that ass and get to know her in other ways, just not that way. Because if we're really honest with ourselves, we will know my second point is gospel.
"You can't handle the truth!" - Jack Nicholson in a Few Good Men
We don't want to know our treasure was another man's trash. What man wants to know the woman you're taking out to a candlelight dinner gave it up to another guy who just invited her over to the crib, popped a DiGiorno in the oven and killed it in one sitting?
At this point in my life, honesty is a double-edged sword. If I can be really honest with myself, I automatically think every woman I meet to whom I attracted is not a virgin, has had at least one one night stand, does kiss on the first date, and does give it up on the first date. And if she hasn't done or doesn't do any of these things, well, she just might. I just have to know the secret password.
But if I can be even more honest with myself, I know I don't care to know if she has done any of those above things with anyone else. I'm pretty sure one day I just might not give a damn about the five W's of her past sex life and when that time comes, the girl better be straight with me.
Note to my female readers, thinking, "Well, I don't know what kind of women he meets but that ain't me." I say to you, quit lying to me and quit lying to yourself. For the women who haven't done these things, you're just not there yet. But for the others who have. Quit pissing on my head and telling me it's raining. If you just be straight with me and either show me or tell me the truth (albeit, when I'm ready to hear it), life may be like Julia Roberts inPretty Woman.And I don't know one woman who doesn't want a life like that.