The Old-School Player: An Academic Study

 

 

The old-school player: A fascinating subject if ever there were one.  There are two types of Old-School players in this world, so I have to tackle this one from dual perspectives. The first, is one of admiration and respect. The second, one of pity and disgust.

Older Cats with Game

These are the cats mothers warn their daughters about. That uncle at your family reunion whom you know better than to leave your lady around. The guy in the tailored business suit who qualifies for retirement benefits, but attracts women who are barely old enough to buy liquor. Fellas, THESE are the true keepers of game. Think back to that scene from "The Mack", where Goldie was in the barber's chair listening to the other pimps chop up game while getting their perms and afros touched up. Absorb the knowledge like a sponge, and utilize said wisdom when the time approaches.

My Uncle Leroy was an Old-School player. Not that he set out to be one...He just lived a long life. At age 80, most of the other men from his generation were dead. This meant, he had a stable of geriatric women chasing after him in his final years. Let him tell it, and they were chasing him like that even when he was young. All I know is, Uncle Leroy always passed down some true ladies man wisdom almost every time I spoke with him until the very end. Rest in peace Uncle Leroy. You are definitely missed.

This type of respectable Old-School Player knows that although the players of the game always change, the basic fundamentals never do. A perfect sports example is international basketball. The Europeans are whupping our asses right now, because they're fundamentally strong. While players over here are trying to dunk on each other and practicing "And 1" trick moves in the hopes of making "SportsCenter", those ashy little kids in Bucharest are working on jump shots and chest passes...Then when it comes down to Olympic time, those same no-deodorant wearing foriegners end up beating a squad of All-World millionaire NBA players. Message: It's not always about the flash and attention when you know how to do things the right way.

The Old Guy In The Club

This, my friends, is what you try to avoid becoming. You all know what I'm talking about. The fellow standing near the bar, significantly older than the average patron in the building. Yeah, that Danny Glover-looking motherf*cker wearing the bootleg Burberry pattern, smoking a Benson and Hedges cigarette and talking sh*t from the sideline. You do NOT want to end up like this man.

Well, I guess if Ezekiel(old school player needs a name that sounds old) has the kind of dough to trick on the young ladies in the club, I guess it isn't that bad...It just seems somewhat wierd to still be chasing 20 year olds when you you're losing your hair on top of your head and growing grey ones every other place on your body.

Zeke needs to be home with his family, or chasing women his own age. Especially if he can't afford to be a sugar daddy. If Zeke has to choose between taking some chick he met at the club to a 5 star resturant, or paying for his daugher's prom dress, I hope he makes the right decision. Please don't have that poor girl wearing some extra-colorful spandex and rayon sh*t you saw in the window at "Rainbow" to the prom.

There you have it. The two types of Old-School Players. Respect to the real ones, and pray for the sloppy imposters out there ruining it for the rest of society.

Oh yeah, I have to apologize for mistaking two young guys as Old-School Players recently. while watching an Ohio State basketball game, they showed a clip of Greg Oden, their 7 foot-tall star center. When they said he is a freshman, I was like "Get the f*ck outta here!"

I was thinking that this guy has to be a ringer. He looks like he was teammates with James Worthy in high school. If he's really around 18 or 19 years old, then I apologize. If he's 37, then I must say, that's the most athletic 37 year old I've ever seen and tip my hat to Mr. Oden. I respect my elders.

The other person I made the mistake of assuming was an Old-School Player is Calvin Booth of the Washington Wizards. This dude makes smart decisions on the court and looks to be a great teammate...But he also looks like he used to work security for the O'Jays during their "Love Train" years. Ol' "Father Time" looking mofo...

 

Sorry Calvin, but you just have that look about you. Please don't kick my ass. Thanks.

Leon