Back up! Lest you want to feel the wrath of that backhand grand!

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The questions, which are sure to be asked by women, men, children, and those bloggers who wish they could blog on KING's new website.

Who the fluck is Huey P. Langston?: A grown ass man, dog. A. Grown. Ass. Man.

Who's co-signing for H.P.L.? The big homie, and un-official Mayor of black New York, Datwon. Who do y'all think?

Is that his real name? Okay, no, it isn't, but I am a real person, with real feelings, who goes through real things, and will spit that real talk. Count on that, ladies and gentlemen.

Is he black, white, brown, yellow? Although I too sometimes wonder the racial makeup of those hiding behind their computer screens, I don't feel it's necessary information. Sure, race matters, as we're all about to see , but as far as this thing here, all that matters is black and white.

What is up with that title, Broke Thought$? Back in my younger days (the 80's), my step-pops would take me with him to a small bar called the Oak Tree. This was his social lounge, his corner. It was there where I would learn what it took to be a grown ass man - work hard, get an education, whoop that ninja's ass if he talks about your momma, take care of home, and until you find the perfect meal, always get something on the side. On and on they would go, spitting a rhetoric that sounded like music to my ears. Quite naturally, I begun to pick up on tidbits of their conversation and would repeat these pearls of wisdom to anyone willing to listen. One day, I let out of one of those expletive filled rants in ear-range of my step-pops and he turned to me and said, "Son, those guys aren't saying anything but broke thoughts so if you're going to talk like that, make sure you're getting paid to do it."

What's up with his fascination with pimps? The skills of a pimp can be used in any setting, not just the sex industry. The real bitch is life, and if your pimp hand is strong, she will cater to your every need.

Ninjas, fite wholks, and uuggh...what bitch? At any given time, I could be talking to you, and these are my default terms of endearment.

Why doesn't he just say nigga instead of ninja? Because I don't drink and blog.

What gets his blog legs going? Women who act like this. Cakin' ass, jaded ninjas who don't know any better (Just wait, damn it!). And other shit happening in my American states.

Is he liberal, moderate, conservative?: I don't subscribe to such dogmatic schemes of thinking.

Is he just one of those bloggers who talks it but doesn't live it? Foolish child, I live every word I write. And if I didn't experience it firsthand, I saw it with my own eyes.

Where's he from? Because I feel like where you're from is the primary influence in where you're at, I must disclose this information. California, baby.

Which begs the question, where's he at? Because this is also sure to play a HUGE role in my topics, I'm in N.Y. I can also sometimes be found on your right shoulder and sometimes I'm on your left shoulder.

What's his level of education?: I have a degree that makes me highly qualified to make money the legal way.

Can I be as cool as H.P.L? Oh hell to da naw! Never, not even if you had a pet Polar Bear and your heat didn't work during a Chicago winter. Never, ever! I am and forever will remain that other side of the pillow.

What should I do now? Read, ninja, read!