This Is My Financial Situation
Please excuse me people. Last week's promised episode recap of I Love New York had to be postponed due to a more pressing matter I had to address. But this week I'm back on the watch and endured yet another hour of nearly unforgivable buffoonery. This shit is really starting to look like a comedic version of Lord of The Flies. Men walking around with their shirts off like it's okay, and everyone calling each other by their nicknames instead of their real names. Shit is digusting, but I digress.
Last night's episode shed light on a dilemma facing many men, especially black men. The She-Devil, like most women, wants to be taken care of financially. Nothing wrong with that, I suppose. And so the challenge put forth to these men simps was simple: Show a financial plan and your net worth. The one with the most potential to make it rain on the ho would win a date with her.
Now, with the exception of one or two, most of these men had about as much financial promise as a street vendor. The one with the bad perm (please note, I'm a grown ass man, thus I refuse to refer to any of these men by their show aliases.) even had the nerve to say he was worth (Dr. Evil voice here) 100 Million Dollars! Then approved a credit check, which revealed otherwise. Dude is a faller, the opposite of a baller.
But another contestant, man-with-the-red-shirt, actually swallowed his pride and gave the She-Devil an honest assessment of his financial situation. He was broke, somewhere to the tune of only $3,000 in savings. In his rush to try and explain his ideas on how to get out of the red and into the black, he broke down, stormed out of the room, cried, then passed out, and I know why.
As I've said before, most ninjas work at UPS. Contrary to what some may think, even KING-MAG.com bloggers aren't bringing in paper. I can honestly fit my whole bank statement on the inside of a fortune cookie. Though it won't be like this forever, my present situation makes the idea of settling down with a woman, well, taxing. And I'd be willing to bet the one dollar I do have to my name that most men, unless they're on the corner or on the court, are in a similar situation.
In response to last week's post, I noticed a lot of black women said one of the reasons most of them are single is because there just aren't enough men who make enough money. In their defense, a lot of them said, most black men aren't even comfortable being in a relationship with a woman being the breadwinner. Now, add on the statistics citing the number one reason for divorce and breakups amongst couples is money, and we begin to understand why man-with-the-red-shirt stormed out and went all Holy Ghost on the show.
Women grow up with Lois Lane syndrome. They want Superman not Clark Kent. They expect a man to take care of them because they either grew up with a male figure who did give them everything they want, or they grew up without one and therefore seek a man who can. All men want is a woman who can take care of herself, you know just in case something were to happen to him. But women want a man who not only can take care of himself, but take care of her too.
Diamonds are a girl's best friend. Dogs are a man's best friend. Thus proving, a woman's love, much less her friendship, will cost dough, but all men want is companionship. And in essence, treating a woman well shouldn't cost a damn thing. Am I right or am I right?
In an ideal world, all men would be able to take it back to the caveman days and take care of home through any means necessary. But with gamemanship laws strict as ever, and the stone age long behind us, most men can't just start hunting for their food. They have to hunt for a job.
What the She-Devil proved last night is even if a woman has her own TV show, she will not put up with a man who can't "bring home the bacon," which is truly sad. So what I propose men to start doing is asking a woman what their net worth is. I'm not saying I'm a gold digger, but I'm done with the broke women, and I recommend all men start doing the same thing. After all, rich girls are the loneliest - word to Tyra Banks.