Both you girls looked like you knew what you were doing with that pigskin. Do you know the different positions on the field?
Joyce: I know some of the defensive positions, a receiver—
Deborah: That's offense.
Joyce: Oh, a defensive tackle, linebacker and kicker.

Either of you have a, um, favorite position?
Joyce: We don't play football at all.

Yeah, but you could learn. Tight end, maybe?
Deborah: What does the tight end do?

He catches the ball and sometimes blocks.
D: Oh I wouldn't want to do that. That's too much pressure. No, I'd be the kicker.
J: I'd be the receiver. I can catch the ball, and I'm quick.

Would you all prefer to play tackle, two-hand touch or flag football?
D: Flag. We don't want to get hurt.

What about in the bedroom?
J: Two-hand touch.

Wait, when can I tackle you?
D: In water, when you're weightless.

Do you guys watch football on TV? Don't you find Joe Buck to be insufferable?
J: If it's on, and other people are watching it, I won't be rude, and I'll follow it, but it's definitely not something I can't miss.

Fair enough. What if your man's team has lost the game? How would you make him feel good?
J: We would give him shots of tequila, a back rub and a grilled cheese.

Tequila? Isn't alcohol a depressant?
D: No, tequila makes everything better.
J: He doesn't need it, but we would give it to him to make him happy.