Who is the Baddest of Badasses?
I was watching the 24 movie, and one of my new http://listentoleon.net readers, Shawn, asked a very valid question: Who is the most badass movie/film character of the moment? I put some thought into it, and here is what I came up with:
Jason Bourne – The scariest thing about watching the Bourne movies, is the fact that through the magic of movies, it leads me to believe that Matt Damon could beat the BLACK off of most of the people I know! That, or beat some black ONTO my Caucasian friends. Not just average black, either. Stereotypical black! F*ck up their credit reports and everything. And he'd do it in savage fashion.
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Jack Bauer – It's hard to not choose Jack. This guy whips all kinds of foreign and domestic ass, and doesn't even take a bathroom break! He'll kill a motherf*cker with his pinky toe, then torture any survivors to get the information that he needs. I'd hate to be the random criminal that tries to rob this guy. That's asking to end up lying in the middle of the street, the victim of a barrage of throat chops, heart punches and all sorts of other swift and brutal forms of violence. A Jack Bauer ass-whipping would probably turn his life around. Help him find Jesus and whatnot…
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James Bond – Can handle himself in unarmed combat, and has access to the coolest weapons imaginable (and the best cars). Couple that with the fact that he gets more ass than any of the other people on the list combined, and Bond is hard to compete with.
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The Transporter – These movies are fun to watch, and Jason Statham makes beating people's asses look like the cool thing to do. The only thing that gets me is that the violence is so stylized that it's kind of unrealistic. If I'm about to fight five people, I don't have time to take off my suit jacket and have a conversation with them. Hell, they aren't going to stand there and let me take off my jacket and talk sh*t! I've seen people get jumped, and it NEVER goes down like that!
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Chuck Norris - Just playing. Although old-assed Chuck could still kick my ass in real life(along with most if not all of these other actors), he hasn't kicked any onscreen ass in a minute! Reruns of Walker: Texas Ranger on the Hallmark channel don't count. If I'm in the mood for laughing at the simple pleasures of roundhouse kicks, bad acting and worse 90's fashion, then that's the show to watch. It's just not enough to land Chuck any serious consideration on this list.
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I cannot decide, so I will leave it to you, the good readers of KING Magazine. Let me know who you feel is the baddest of all TV and movie badasses.