College Courses DMX Should Take This Fall
1. Advanced Forensic Science Lab DMX's lawyers have requested another paternity test despite the conclusive evidence a 3-year-old Buffalo, New York, girl is his. Now, when the doctor brings in the same results, he'll know why.
2. The Actors Studio: Comedic Acting Twenty years from now, X would look pretty silly playing a gun-busting tough guy with arthritis; time to broaden those chops.
3. The Prose of Donald Goines Since X starred in the film adaptation of Goines's Never Die Alone, this should be an easy "A." Gotta have at least one cupcake class per semester.
4. Accounting and Bible Studies If X decides to pursue a career in the church, this will be an essential class. Providing spiritual guidance to worshipers can become a burden come April 15. Just ask televangelist Jim Bakker.
5. Thug Phys. Ed. This pass/fail class culminates with a semester-ending test: 35 pull-ups at the traffic light, sprint from police and hop fences and benches while chased by pitbulls.