Queen of the south Trina volunteers to keep our armed forces' spirits up. (that wasn't intended to have any sort of perverse double meaning, by the way . . . )Life's a bitch.Global warming is causing Day After Tomorrow-type weather, and gas prices are higher than Robert Downey Jr. in his heyday. Needless to say, America's been drearier than Coldplay on Vicodin. Yet, as thousands of our brave men and women are defending this land, presumably over Texas tea, we at KING have a sworn duty to bestow our good ol' boys overseas a symbol of inspiration and freedom: a rump that would make Roberto Duran cry "no mas.” The Statue of Liberty was a ridiculous idea (though we've always wondered what was underneath that toga), so we called on Miami's Diamond Princess, Trina. n Ever since our arts-and-crafts experiment on Trina's first go-round with KING, the 29-year-old Miami brickhouse has schooled us on true American capitalism. With a clothing line (Denim & Diamonds), perfume collection (Diamond Princess), modeling agency dedicated to uplifting the self esteem of young women (Diamond Dolls), TV pilot (tentatively titled With Friends Like These), and another album (The Glamorous Life), Trina's chokehold on the business world only tightens. Word to Sprewell. No wonder she can afford all those damn diamonds—non-conflict, we hope.

KING Our staff has a thing for women in military uniforms—it makes us feel so damn insubordinate. But before you make me drop and give you 20, can you send a message to the troops in the Middle East?
TRINA I have a lot of respect for you guys and I hope you come back home safely. They go to war for us and I commend them for that 'cause I damn sure won't be over there. I'm not a political person; I'm just trying to work, stay focused and keep making money. Besides, the President is crazy.

Make up your mind, woman.
I like laidback, strong and confident guys. You gotta have a swagger. You gotta be fly. I like guys who have a sense of humor 'cause I like to laugh. You gotta be a man 'cause I'm very outspoken. I like you to be a man and let me be a woman. Also, if your sneakers ain't right, don't even blink my way.

Agreed. But don't be afraid to blow your own bum.
I'm blessed to have [ass] and I would have it no other way. This is what God created, and I know so many girls who wish they had my assets. I'm very proud of it. It's very intriguing. Nice use of that word. I can't just cut it off and hide it. No matter what I put on, it's not going anywhere.