This past weekend, your boy H.P.L had an opportunity to hear the great Dr. Michael Eric Dyson speak at Kevin Powell's Black and Male In America Conference. Since this was my first time hearing the good doctor in person, I was very interested to hear what he had to say. I was in awe. While the occasion certainly wasn't church in the traditional sense, Dr. Dyson definitely had the whole congregation stomping, clapping, and even though the event was free, had a collection plate been passed around for Dr. Dyson's traveling expenses, I would've gladly chipped in. The man and his message were that powerful.

Of course, Dyson's speech gave me a lot of food for thought. One course he fed in particular put a spotlight on a lot of today's black men being intimidated by strong black women. But instead of preaching to the men in the audience about the importance of respecting and loving our strong, independent black women because they're, well, strong, independent black women, Dyson put it to the men in the context of sex, which was a context capable of enticing the non-believers, and something believers such as myself could relate to. After the sermon, I had to ask myself: In relation to sex, what kind of woman do I prefer laying down with? The independent type of woman, or, as a dear friend of mine calls them, sub-serviant woman.

PLEASE NOTE: Before I begin to give you my evaluation on both, please ladies, do not discredit Dyson's speech because he sold the idea of loving and embracing an independent woman on sex alone. That was hardly the case, I was just saying that for me, this particular portion of his speech had me really thinking.


The sub-serviant woman is a yes woman. She does anything her man asks at the snap of his fingers. What he wants, she gives, and gives, and gives until the man is full. Now with this kind of description, most men are going to ask, "Doesn't every man want a woman like that?". The answer is, no, not every man wants a woman like that.

Don't get me wrong, outside of the bedroom, I still want a woman cooking, cleaning, and all that other domestic shit. But when it comes to the bedroom, these sub-serviant women usually just phone it in. They're only sleeping with you because they don't know to engage you otherwise. Hell, a lot of them don't even need foreplay to let you get it in. They'll just lube it up for you, get on their back, and let you have your way with her. Again, this sort of obedience does sound appealing, but a great time in bed it does not make.

Sub-serviant women get off on getting you off, but they don't get off themselves, and often times, they won't tell you. They'll lie to you and tell you that you're putting it down, and you're doing your thing, because they care so much about you, which begs the question: Would any woman stand for not getting hers from a man for an extended period of time, even if she loves him? Doubt it. Even the most sub-serviant women need to get broken off now and again, and if their man ain't doing it for them, they will attempt to creep in order to get what they need. And when I say creep, I don't necessarily mean another man. It could be a device she hides in the bathroom, right next to her feminine hygiene things.

My brothas, if you want yourself a sub-serviant woman, understand there's still some effort you're going to need to make in order to keep her happy, especially in the bedroom. Because if they're lying to you about putting it down, and you keep on going about your business, only one of you is having a good time, and it ain't her, homie. Her half is coming from another man. And I know no man who wants a woman like that. Instead, this is the type of woman you want...


Dr. Dyson explained this woman as being the type of lady that comes in from a long day at work, takes her earrings off, followed by her clothes, keeps her heals on, and says, TAKE ME NOW! TAKE. ME. NOW. He also explained the incomparable feeling of being with a woman like this because she chooses to be with you. Ironically, old school pimps apply to this same philosophy of letting the woman choose. Either way, I would have to wholeheartedly agree.

For those faithful readers of mine, many would deem me a hater of independent black women, and while I do have some problems with women living in an independent mind state, there is a reason I give them so much attention, and that reason is: I LOVE THEM TO DEATH. Independent women in the bedroom are some beasts! And if you're truly lucky, you'll find an independent woman who still knows her way around a kitchen and knows how many scoops of detergent to put in a load of laundry. Now of course, the independent woman is stubborn as all hell. She likes to talk back. She likes to test you every now and then. And there are times where she will tell you, "Not tonight. I'm tired."

But when your independent woman isn't tired, and comes to you on that one night, get ready, because in her mind, she's been having fantasies that would give her daddy a heart attack. And unlike the sub-serviant woman, the independent woman is going to tell you where her spot is. She's not going to be whooping and hollering like you found the buried treasure. She's not going to lie to you, because in her mind, she has chosen you, my man, to put it on her, and she ain't got time for anymore bullshit. You're the one she has chosen to put on the team, and damn it, if your jumper isn't on point, well, she's going to just work with you until you're hitting your jumper 100 times in a row.

Now, don't confuse the loyalty of an independent woman as signs she wants a relationship. Naw playa, she don't want that shit. She just wants some good pipe. If she wants a relationship, trust me, she'll make you wait to hit whereas a sub-serviant woman will sleep with you to get a relationship. Of course, the independent woman may want you to be giving her that good pipe exclusively, but that's only for safety reasons. She doesn't want you coming in with some mildew-infested pipe work, which makes sense.What we're talking about is strictly sexual, and for a lot of independent women, their disposition towards sex is a lot more akin to a man than a woman's. Sub-serviant women are the delusional and naive ones.

To all my brothas out there who are looking for a real good time in the bedroom, guess what, the independent woman is your ticket. Sex with sub-serviant women is like riding the mechanical bull. Sex with an independent woman is the real rodeo and the problem is a lot of ninjas are too afraid to get on something that doesn't run off loose change and actually has a mind of their own. Man up my ninjas, and step to the independent woman because as uncooperative as they seem on their way to work, all an independent woman really wants to do is get home from work, and take her earrings off.