Hey TP, c'mon in. Despite Dirk and his Dallas thoroughbreds stickin' it to ya, you're still our favorite foreigner on the court. You're a speedy cheesehound, one of the best finishers in the game (Mister Cee, stand up!). You dish out your share of dimes - not like Stevie Nash, but a respectable number nonetheless. But we're not here to talk shop. There are more pressing issues that need to be ironed out.

First off, someone needs to deliver you from Eva. Don't get us wrong: She's cute. Great teeth. Looks like she can whip up a mean mole. But this spring, she told a woman's magazine that she's the "teacher, especially about love," and that you've only been with one other person in your life. Which is fine - you're one up on A.C. Green - but she put your sixth man on blast, homie! Even though she wnt on TV to big up your "triangle offense," the damage was done.

Continue reading this story in the September 2006 issue of KING (#34).