It’s Official: God Likes Me Better Than You
Ladies and gentlemen, it's official. The votes are in. The research is complete. The variables have been taken into account. All signs point toward...Leon is The Sh*t.
See...If the red sign says it, it must be true!
I know they teach you in church that God loves all of his children. That much is correct. What T.D. Jakes, Creflo Dollar, Pastor Courvoisier and the rest of them neglected to mention is that God actually likes Leon better than the rest of society. I mean really. Look at my style, son! My style's hostile! My style's versatile! My style is liter-al! That sh*t's phe-no-me-naaaal!
Stevie Wonder can see I'm a bad motherf*cker. My sh*t swings so low, when I whip out what's in my slacks, I d*ck slap Satan! Only the grace of God could produce a weapon of mass seduction the likes of me. I possess the ability to impregnate women with a mere gaze, but I choose to fertilize their minds and hump their sensibilities into convultions. Go ahead and read this paragraph again, because I know it is a little deep for those of you mere mortals out there who are not quite on my level of phee-nom-i-nality.
So if I left you with anything to remember today, let this be it: Leon = Far superior to anyone else you'll ever meet in your lifetime. Remember that come Chistmastime when you're gift shopping. That is all. You may now resume your daily activities.
*Today's post is sponsored by Leon's uncensored, unfiltered ego. This is the sh*t that he'd say to people every day if it were acceptible in normal society.*