KING   You girls look like you know what you're doing with that pigskin. Do you know the different positions on the field?
Joyce   I know some of the defensive positions, a receiver…
Deborah   That's offense.
Oh, a defensive tackle, linebacker and kicker.

Either of you have a, um, favorite position?
We don't play football at all.

Yeah, but you could learn. Tight end, maybe?
What does the tight end do?

He catches the ball and sometimes blocks.
Oh, I wouldn't want to do that. That's too much pressure. No, I'd be the kicker.
J I'd be the receiver. I can catch the ball, and I'm quick.

Would you two prefer to play tackle, two-hand touch or flag football?

Flag. We don't want to get hurt.

What about in the bedroom?
Two-hand touch.

Wait, when can I tackle you?
In water, when you're weightless.

Do you ladies watch football on TV? Aren't you glad Joe Theismann is off Monday Night Football?
If it's on, and other people are watching it, I won't be rude and I'll follow it, but it's definitely not something I can't miss.

Fair enough. What if your man's team has lost the game?
How would you help him numb the pain?
J We would give him shots of tequila, a back rub and a grilled cheese. Tequila?

Isn't alcohol a depressant?
D No, tequila makes everything better.
We would give it to him to make him happy.

—Jozen Cummings

For more from KING Magazine's 2007 NFL preview, pick up the October 2007 issue, on newsstands now!