Black Eyed Peas bandleader, whose latest effort is titled Songs About Girls, likes his women just like any other man - below sight and very Melyssa Ford-like. He doesn't like to share the bed, hates dudes, and nearly ended our interview when asked about his, um, daring fashion sense. (Sorry Will, the card's in the mail). Fortunately, he gives up the goods on groupie love. Finally, some honesty. Thanks. By the way, we still love you, Tyra. I've been listening to the new album, Songs About Girls. More booty talk than a pirate's treasure chest. Is it safe to say you're an ass man?, I'm not an ass man

Nah, I'm not an ass man, I'm a boob dude

Is that so?
That is so

Speaking of shocking stuff how is it working with Michael Jackson?
It's going along awesome

There's gotta be some more words in the dictionary you can use?
Some dope shit.

Cool. Dope.
I can't really comment because it's his record.

I don't understand, but ok. Man to man, you're my hero after breaking so many hearts on "Heartbreaker".
Um, I couldn't say I'm a heartbreaker, by nature. I just broke somebody's heart. I'm not a player. You know I've made mistakes. That's what that song is about. It's like apologizing and owning up to why the relationship fell apart.


Sure. Who are the 5 most important women in your life?
My mom, my grandma in slot number 1, um, my mom in slot number 2, my grandma in slot number 3...

And I guess the rest vary week to week?
Nah, just...when you got women like that, it's hard to put somebody next to them. They're too awesome. Those two hold all five positions

What's your stance on groupie love?
Groupie love?

Yeah, groupie love, not the movie, but those little parasites that eat at your fame.
You mean chicks that like Black Eyed Peas? Yeah, that's a given you know… especially when you're in a big group. You're always gonna have a lot of groupies. But, I don't know… It's cool. When I was younger it was fun. It's irritating, now.

You sound like a McDonald's employee.
It's just irritating. I can't really explain it. It's like… you wanna have conversations [with the groupies]…my whole shit, right now, is just conversations things that are gonna expand my, um…expand my whole everything. It's cool that the fans like your music. But, they get all giddy and shit. It's not that they're dumb, they're not dumb - they're excited. And when they're excited, you know they're excited. You have to appreciate it. You have to be responsible, too. What you don't do is bone the groupies.

Never? Is that cardinal rule number 1?
It's just not smart

Stupidity has its rewards. Extra curricular activity, of this sort, is not really your M.O.
Yeah, that's dead on. I like to hang out, everybody parties, I hang out. I get a vibe of what's the city's like. Then, I just go on to the studio. I carry my studio with me. I just like to work.

You haven't met Superhead, though. Anyway, who's in your top 5, hot and alive?
Jennifer Love Hewitt - she's like pretty banging. Rosario Dawson - she's even more banging. Salma Hayek -before when she was a mom, extra banging. Rosie Perez.

Rosie Perez, the kids don't know about her
Yeah, throwbacks. That's a hot throwback. Who else got stackin racks?

Pamela Lee Anderson?
Nah, I like 'em real.

Me, too, sometimes
Home chicks from…you remember that one TV show that used to pretend…they used to bite Married With Children. Her name is Nikki Cox.

I gotta google her. Let's say I put you in Jay-Z's shoes and I asked you to write a song about Beyonce

I smell a quitter
I'm not Jay-Z and she's not my girl.

Use your imagination
She's not my type like that.

So says the blind man
She's pretty, she's beautiful but that ain't my type. I like short girls. I like 5 foot 2 and that's it.

Anything taller wouldn't be right
Maybe, 5' 5'', she could get away with it. But now, I can't fuck with anybody taller than 5' 3'.

How tall are you?
5' 10''.

Um, help me out here, Sherlock.
I just like ‘em short. I like em so I can spoon em in the bed. So, I can snuggle. I dont like long ass legs. Like, what the fuck?

I'm guessing you won't be climbing any models
Hell No. They skinny. They legs [are] all lanky and shit. Fuckin, taking up the fuckin blankets and shit. They fuckin' taking up the bed. Nah, homie.

The blankets are important
I just like real shorties. They packin.

Lil Kim?
No. Cuz I like…She's cute too. I ain't shitting... I like boobies and little waist and booties.

I forgot, she's had a few operations. Let's bring this back to music. Is there a Black Eyed Peas album in the works?
Yes, 2008. December

Any big artists you due to work with in the near future?
Michael Jackson

You sort of mentioned him earlier. Anybody else?
Whitney Houston [and] Mariah Carey

How is it in the studio with artists of that caliber?
It all depends on what the artists want. Either, I make something and they like it. Or, I'm just here to exexute what they want. There's no ego… there's not one way to skin the cat. We're gonna scrub the cat on the fuckin cement ‘till the hair come out [laughs].

What do you say to people who call you the fake Wyclef?
We look alike but our music is totally different. He doesn't dress like me. If people say shit, they're gonna say shit. Dudes…that's some shit niggas say. Dudes say that shit. I'm not worried bout what dudes are saying.

We can be rough, at times. Where's the sense in your fashion sense? Do you just wake up every morning and say I'm gonna dress as weird as I can?
Oooh yeah nigga let me put on this clown outfit. Yo, fuck that shit, fuck you Ronald Mc Donald. I'm taking offense to your questions, now.

That's not a personal foul, more like a technical one
When you do an interview, do you ask the stupidest questions or do you like relate ‘em to music?

Well, a good question is a bad question. Is your style not weird, or is it me?
Um, I travel a lot

You're more cultured than me. I accept that. Maybe you're ahead of us.
It has nothing to do with about being ahead or behind. It's just expression. I like to express myself in music. I like to express myself in fashion. I don't like looking like everybody. I'm not a Gap dude. I'm not gonna wear a gap t shirt. I'm not gonna walk around looking like everybody in our streets. I don't…I don't feel comfortable wearing the same ‘drobe that the masses walk around wearing thinking that's it cool. I like to express how I wanna look. Can I get some applause? Can motherfuckers make some noise. Individuality, motherfuckers.

Bravo, Will! Bravo!