Hello Eve,

I'm sure you remember me from my MTV glory days in the ‘80s as the punk rocker most hated to love. Well, when I first laid eyes on you, I saw this beautiful modern girl. You have so much going on I can't help but imagine, What do you do on the weekends? What do you do to relax? I think you need someone to relax with, really.

I'd love to take you out in L.A. and do something sexy like ride you around town on my Harley. Or maybe we can get away together. One of my best vacations was at the Hotel Bora Bora. The only problem was I had to borrow to get there. I'll be honest, baby: I've got no money. I'm a punk rocker. I know you're probably thinking, like, "Why would I wanna meet a 50 year old who maybe finally figured out how to use his tongue?” Well let me tell you, I have what I call the "Idol Grip.” It's pretty amazing and it works wonders.