The Phat A** Conundrum
(It must be noted, this picture is just being used to illustrate a point, and is no way a representation of my own woman)
Recently my lady complained that I was getting a bit excessive with all the attention I was giving to her backside, and I was starting to sound like one of the random dudes on the corner. So I toned down my remarks because it was never my intention to offend and, as is the case with most women, her body is a sensitive subject, but I had to ask her a straight up question: What bothers you about having an ass as nice as yours? Instead of coming with some typical, feminist response, she said she wanted to think about it. She didn't want her response to be hackneyed or knee jerk.
So the next day, she told me she figured it out. In so many words, the reason why she has never liked the attention given to her booty maximus is because that's the one part of a female's body that gets no respect. If all a woman has is a nice ass (and this isn't the case with my woman), nine times out of 10 the attention she's going to get for it is going to be disrespectful.
I thought long and hard about what she said, and I have come to the realization that my woman was actually right. Think about it...No matter what your preference is as a man, whether it's legs, booty, or breasts, there's no denying that the least romanticized part of a woman's body is her backside.Â A woman with huge breasts is treated with slightly more respect than a woman with a phatty. As my woman explained to me, men automatically write a woman with a phat ass off as some freak, largely because of the myth (and this could actually be a truism, so if you're a doctor, please let us know) that a woman's ass gets bigger when she starts having sex. It's especially troubling for a black woman like mine, since they are always associated with being bootylicious, even when they're not. Of course, women who have big breasts get a fair amount of disrespect and have to experience some degree of objectification, but they also are looked at as fun-loving, cheerful creatures. Not to mention, large breasts is largely a stigma attached to white women. So it could be a race thing, but it also could be a class thing, with breasts jobs being a popular item for the rich, and a rotund behind being a popular item for strippers. I don't really know, so I digress...
But real talk, even after saying all that, I still love the way my woman looks in the right pair of jeans, and I want to tell her that, as I assume most men would want to tell any woman who possessed a fine ass the same thing - particularly their own if they should be so lucky.Â Every man should have a right to compliment any parts of a woman body, and do so without being labeled a pervert. I'm sorry, that should just be allowed. If I tell you how beautiful your eyes are and how your elbows turn me on, why can't I also say, "Damn, baby your ass..." I don't know, I can't even finish that line. So can someone help me out? If you're not a rapper with a hit song, and you want to say something nice about a woman's derriere, how do you go about doing that without offending her?