The definition of a real man is subjective. Some believe a real man puts the shoe on his woman the second she steps out of line, and proceeds to call her out her name.

Some are of the school of thought that a real man takes care of home. He pays all the bills, puts food on the table, and clothes on the back of his kids.


I'm a grown ass man in a lot of ways, but I'm also well aware that in a lot of ways I know I still have some growing up to do. So as my friends and I enjoy the black man's version of Entourage, I have sought out other ways to qualify my grown ass man status, such as paying rent, traveling from time to time. Some of these activities are as follows:

- Drinking a beer on my couch

- Paying rent

- Traveling from time to time

- Smacking the little knuckleheads (not my own) that run around my apartment complex all day.

But all these activities pale into comparison to the one true testament of my being a grown ass man: Passing up on having sex with a woman.

Women have a tendency to believe we are simple creatures. Babies, if you will. They swear they can keep us around by depriving us of that thing between their legs.
But a real man, knows how to pass on the ass and would never let a woman control the tempo of a sexual relationship. And I'm not talking about the type of men who commit themselves to celibacy or are "waiting" until their married.

I laugh at those type of men all the time and constantly question their sexual orientation.

I'm talking about a man who has been around the block once or thirty times and has experienced the wonderous joys of doing the type of things to a woman rappers rap about. To just fall over a woman and lie down with her, when she's ready is the equivalent of a tie score. Both of you have won (or lost) depending on how good the sex actually was. But passing on sex is when you actually win the game because you have defeated every notion she ever had about you.

The reason why many rappers today are screaming, "money over bitches" has nothing to do with their feelings toward women and everything to do with the difficulty of getting that guap. Regardless of your tax bracket, if you can walk upright and speak english, you can probably bed a woman or two. It's just that easy. So we need challenges like hustling, or playing Madden 07.

The only real hassle about sex, is dealing with the women in the aftermath. You have to go through the trouble of kicking her out, or letting her stay, or finding your way back to your own place. And if you don't ever want to talk to her again, you have to figure out how to erase your number out of her cell phone without waking her up. All kinds of shit that run a distant second to a good night's sleep and a full hour of Sportscenter.

We think we're a man when we finally have sex with a woman, when the truth is, we're really a man when we can turn it down. Remember, the man who sells the sex is the pimp. The man who buys it, the trick.