A little while ago, I heard someone complaining about the fact that his woman will not give him head. They're having sex, and he's going down on her, but getting no reciprocity. My first thought upon hearing this was:

"They still make these?! I thought women who don't give head went extinct about 10 years ago...Sometime around the release of Lil' Kim's second album."

This led me to deliver some tough love, Leon-style. I told the brother that it is a bad thing to date a woman who says she won't perform fellatio. Her statement could be a warning sign for impending disaster. Here's why:

 - She just might be a selfish motherf*cker.

- Most women who are really into sombody are willing to try new things(legal and not too painful) in order to please her man, if he's handling his business. It's safe to assume she likes you if you two are having sex, but it's also safe to assume that she's not 100% into you if she's not willing to go down on you.

- If she is already talking about what she won't do in the early stages of a relationship, imagine what things are going to be like if you marry this woman. You will be negotiating and bartering for the same ol' no-head-giving, in-house pu**y for the rest of your natural life!

- Uninspired blowjobs suck. If a woman isn't into giving head, it won't be nearly as enjoyable as getting your d*ck sucked by someone who loves to please and enjoys doing it. So even if you do talk her into doing it,  she'll probably whine, complain and basically do the bare-minimum in order to get you to the finish line.

- She might be trying to escape her slut past. Usually, these women find Jesus to replace the void in their life that was previously filled with random penis. I guess the ones who aren't ready to give up premarital sex altogether, just stop sucking d*ck. I believe it was best said on one of Ludacris' albums: "She said she'd never do it. She said she never tried. She's sitting there telling a motherf*ckin' lie."

So as you can see, women who don't give head present a myriad of obstacles and potential problems. I can speak on this, because I went through it with someone I really cared about. For awhile, I was able to focus on her positives instead of the fact that I was only getting sporadic head at best. Once the first non-head-related sign of trouble occurred in the relationship, that lack of knob-slobbage made it a little easier to walk away and not go back. Maybe it's a little shallow since she is a nice person and I still think she's cool...but sh*t. I'm a freak, and I know what I like! Having your woman go down on you is the American Way!




In closing, I want all of you fellows out there in happy relationships to remember the last time your woman sucked you off without you having to ask her. If it was within the last week or so, then definitely be thankful, and do something unexpected and nice for her tomorrow. Just don't tell her why you did it!