Before I start, let me let this Kidz In The Hall joint play one time. Their album, The In Crowd is great from top to bottom, so I advise all hip-hop fans to go cop it. Seriously...I've been playing it to death all summer, and I really wish I'd gotten to see them while attending the Rock The Bells tour. I missed them because they performed on the second stage at the same time that Raekwon and Ghostface Killa were on the main stage. As much as I fucks with The In Crowd, I couldn't miss Rae and Ghost. I think Naledge and Double-O can understand that...

Now, let me get my black ass on topic. How many of you have ever been on a date with a woman that you're very attracted to, but had trouble getting her to relax and feel comfortable? I realize that this is, and if you let some anonymous internet niggas tell it, everybody's going to claim that their game is tighter than Olympic gymnast pussy. Let's leave the braggadocio at home for a second and be real: It happens to almost everyone. Even folks like me, whose game actually is tighter than a thong two sizes too small on a fat chick.

Here are some official Leon tips to help your first date go along a little more smoothly:

1.) MAKE INNOCENT CONTACT - You'd be surprised how much a slight bit of physical contact can put a woman at ease. The key is to be subtle, and do it in a fairly innocent place. Like for instance, if you're leading her to the dance floor or to a dinner table, casually touch her on the elbow as you guide her in the right direction. Sounds nice and innocent, right? That's because it is. That said, it sends signals on a subconscious level that you're non-threatening. Remember, don't over do it too early. Pay attention and look for signs that she wants you closer before you escalate to touching more sensitive areas like hands, neck, legs, (and if you're super-lucky, titties), etc...

2.) TRY YOUR BEST TO LISTEN - That, or fake it as best you can. Even if you've lost interest in what she's saying, try to take in enough so that you can ask a question that'll keep her talking. This is when you start acting in order to Denzel your way into a kiss at the end of the night(or more). Besides the occasional question and co-sign sentiment, nod your head occasionally. If you nod up and down as if to signify agreement, only do it in the beginning or if she asks you a question directly. Otherwise, if it's some long, drawn-out story, then I recommend the slow "no" nod. Practice it in the mirror, because you're going for that "I am completely riveted by your words" look, and not that "I wish this bitch would just shut up and show me her tits" look of impatience. Remember, practice makes perfect!

3.) DON'T TALK ABOUT YOURSELF TOO MUCH - This is the one that gives me trouble. I mean, I'm a hell of a guy! KING thinks so, since they publish my shit...So in my opinion, everyone else should too! The only problem with that is that coming across as confident and successful is a good thing. Arrogant and self-centered, not so much. Remember to keep your antecdotes and stories under control, and ask questions about her, or make observations. The more she talks, the better chance you have of waking up in the morning with her pantrydraws dangling from your ceiling fan.

4.) YOU DON'T HAVE TO FRONT TO IMPRESS HER - Remember: She's already out on a date with you, so she's at least somewhat interested and/or attracted. No need to jump through hoops or do things that you normally wouldn't to win her approval.

5.) EVEN IF THE DATE SUCKS, IT'S NOT THE END OF THE WORLD - Even if there is absolutely no chance of any sparks flying, just try to make the most of the evening. If you followed # 4, then you didn't do something out of character to impress her, like spend the light bill money on a bottle of expensive champagne that you can't even pronounce. Tariq Walton, a writer out of DC, published a good book called "It's Just A Damned Date." The main point was that you shouldn't come into a date situation expecting anything other than to have a good time. There is no promise of getting laid. No need to start saving up for wedding rings. Hell, you might even want to line up a backup plan and exit strategy, just in case the shit hits the fan! All you need to do is be yourself and avoid adding unnecessary pressure to the situation. I guarantee that if you remember this, at least 8 out of 10 dates will be good ones.

There you have it. Before you use all this good stuff that I just gave you for the price of FREE.99, I need you to do me a favor and vote for me in this year's Black Weblog Awards. My blog a.k.a. "Yeah...I Said It”, is nominated for Best Humor Blog and Best Personal Blog. All you have to do is vote once from a valid e-mail address at the link below:

Thanks in advance, and I hope that these tips help!

- Leon