Amusement Park
How 50 cent continues to add primers of buff and sex to insufferably bad pop music, then put a mask on it, and call it hip hop is becoming something of a toothy ritual, a half-grinning smooch on the head, from a former drug-dealing gangster, no less. Not for a fraction of a second is "Amusement Park” a worthy effort. It's a novelty record from a veteran rapper with skills, which is scary. The pipe-y carousel sounds reveal a jaded pleasure addict in 50: "It's a perfect time for a magic trick, girl you know it's no fun without the magic stick”; the nerdy bell boy hospitality ("I wanna thank you for attending this affair”) suggests something else. This is how stupid 50 Cent thinks you are. The contour of the track is more gimmicky than sexy and amongst the droves of ladies songs to crack our consciousness in recent memory, this one has a certain sing-song lilt that's sure to brainwash you. - Rodney Dugue

Listen to "Amusement Park" by 50 Cent