The perennial bad guy of rap is back to remind you how much money you don't have and how many millions he's yet to collect, all while sprinting to the nearest Western Union. 50 cent does an awfully atonal evil laugh on "Straight to the Bank”, which about characterizes the song: an unforgiving stab to the head why commercial achievement begets lazy disaster. The shit sounds completely forced and determinedly steers clear of any pathos, just the average underwhelming I'm-rich-bitch bullying aesthetic, "I don't even have to rap / life is made/ said I don't even have to rap, I'm filthy maan”. Dr. Dre goes pretty far to erase all this disappointment with an updated G funk sound that features a spine-tickling riff replete with break-claps and regular Dre-associated brilliance. But alas, nothing can avenge this, and really, what's the point? A formula-dripping ladies song would have sufficed. Probably, would sound less annoying, too. - Rodney Dugue

Listen to "Straight to the Bank" by 50 Cent